Frankly, I'm not sure why I want to post something quite personal specifically here in DeviantArt, since I'm not exactly that popular around here, but I think I'm more interested in just getting the story out.
Either way, I've been accepted into BCIT! (Well, I will be as long as I keep my C+ in Math up, which fortunately I managed to get a B in my current term.) And I'm taking the Architectural and Building Engineering Technology Diploma course - a mouthful, I know.
Why a diploma? Well, firstly because I'm not really sure if this is the line of work that I want to be in, so I just want to get the feels of how the whole field works. If it doesn't, then I could just save myself and my parents the trouble of doing a BS, get a job with my diploma, and do whatever I gotta do! Sounds awesome right!? I guess it is!
But to be honest, I don't really know. I wanted a future involving art, (Animation? Video gaming? Film?) but in my current situation, with a family who wants the assured stability at the very least for their children, I'm gonna have to settle with the diploma course. I know where they're coming from, and I understand, that's why I'm taking it up, but nevertheless I can't say that I wasn't deeply... crippled? (A whole lot of arguing had to be pursued to convince me into it, and believe me when I say I have my internal relapses!) I guess it's one of those scenarios where you gotta let go of your dreams... for the meantime at least. -shrug-
I believe the disappointment have affected my ability to work on my AP Art effectively... I get thoughts of how I'm going to make time for art, or if I could ever have a future with it anymore. The question, "What's the point!?" would bug me a lot. Now I'm typing it all down here trying to understand myself.
But you know what I think? I think I've spent a lot of my time complaining and being all depressed, or procrastinating, rather than working on the things that really matter! YouTube videos, replaying the same things in the NDS (I can't blame it though, I love Crystal Chronicles!), and Googling my shit, I forget about making time for art! I mean, it's all just time management right? If I can just get myself out of my internal shithole, I could start doing my art thang again! Yeah!
And of course, my school responsibilities. I mean, as much as it's just pure BS, I'm not just gonna settle for less right? Guess I got a mindset to work on! Art's gonna be there for me, but am I gonna be there for art? I'm sorry, I'm busy trying to make an appointment with ART RIGHT NOW SO YOUR QUESTION IS INVALID.
Man it's great to rant. \m/